It’s Christmas Eve!

It’s Christmas Eve and here I am helping out old Uncle Nick in the packing department of the Wish Factory.

I can’t believe he’s making me stuff stockings with shoes for other girls! That’s his idea of a hilarious joke. How cruel. They all think he’s some fat jolly guy, all with the ‘ho-ho-ho’s’, and he’s not. He’s got a real mean streak. Obviously.

They all think he’s some fat jolly guy, all with the ‘ho-ho-ho’s’, and he’s not.

What about me? I’ve been so good this year. What am I going to get in my Christmas stocking? I’ll bet Uncle forgets. It’s always the way: the chef doesn’t want to cook when he gets home; the plumber won’t fix his own blocked pipes.

Hmph. Forget Santa’s elves – Uncle Nick has every last cousin three times removed slaving away here. And I’ve got the absolute worst job of them all.

What I actually wore #0028

Serial #: 0028
Date: 15/03/2009
Weather: a crisp autumn day, 19°
Time Allowed: 10 minutes

It was a beautiful autumn day, and I had a date to see the Rosalie Gascoigne exhibition at Federation Square.

Detail of the skirt fabricThe outfit was based around the gorgeous panelled velvet skirt that I found last summer at a Salvos shop. I believe it is hand-made as there is no label inside, but it is beautifully constructed and finished. Made from high quality fabric, it drapes so elegantly, and has a lovely swing when I walk. The caramel shaded print is a cross between Art Deco and Japanese floral style on a midnight blue background. How appropriate for an art gallery!

I wore a plain black knit top as the skirt was such a standout. The leather boots with cutouts were also found at a Salvos store for $25 a couple of years ago; they’d never been worn. At the time I surmised that the original owner had bought them on a whim and then perhaps found them too daring. And now gladiator sandals and boots are all the rage! The blue bag has a crocodile-stamp pattern and was found in a vintage boutique.

It was the second time I viewed the exhibition, and I enjoyed it just as much. It was my boots, though – my date told me, amused – that captured the envy of a passing girl. She rubber-necked me like a tourist.

Items:

Top: John Smedley
Skirt: hand-made
Bag: vintage
Shoes: Donna Velenia
Earrings: Moyou
Watch: Kenneth Cole
Postcard: Rosalie Gascoigne, Medusa, 1998

BTS: The Making of Prince Charmless

Click on image to open larger version.When I first opened negotiations with Kyle Steele to be my Prince Charming, he didn’t think for too long before he agreed. A moment later he asked suspiciously, “You’re not going to shrink me or anything?” referring to Snow White Part 1.

I laughed. “Prince Charming is definitely not a dwarf!”

Presently, Kyle grew thoughtful, and fearful that he might renege, I asked him what was on his mind. “I’m just trying to think what I could wear,” he murmured absently.

I knew what I wanted him to wear: the puffy-sleeved shirt of Seinfeld fame. I had my doubts as to whether I could find one though.

It was he who, after several fruitless excursions to op-shops, hit on the idea of a bogan Prince Charmless, and I immediately fell in love with the concept. Of course my sassy Snow White would not fall for a stock-standard Prince in a silk shirt!

I organised to borrow a sword from our taekwondo instructor Ivan; Kyle picked it up the night before, bundling it up carefully in a pashmina in case he had a run-in with a policeman on the street. His supplier of flannelette shirts unfortunately did not come through for him, so on the day of the shoot, Kyle made a detour to a local department store where he bought two flannies for the princely sum of $6 each.

… the actual shoot was a long series of gags and bloopers interspersed with a small number of fluke good shots

We soon found out why they were so cheap. “I think they’re made for really fat, short people,” Kyle grinned as he modelled the extra large one for me. The sleeves were about 20cm too short and the body could almost have held two of him. When he buckled on his studded belt however, it was perfect. The last touch was a pack of Winnie Blues, with one cigarette tucked behind his ear.

If putting Kyle’s costume together was not hilarious enough, the actual shoot was a long series of gags and bloopers interspersed with a small number of fluke good shots.

The first time he picked me up we heard a loud clunk. “What was that?” I asked, mystified.

“The sword fell out of my belt,” Kyle answered wryly.

“Oops, better not tell Ivan that.”

Then the camera decided to play up, the setting for the remote shutter control flicking off whenever we took too long to get into position; the battery of the remote was discovered to be waning (I had no replacement, and Kyle desperately pulled apart his car keyfob only to find the battery was the wrong voltage); I deplored the camera angle for showing too much of my rear (“It’s too low,” Kyle pointed out helpfully). But Kyle nobly bore it all, and in fact became quite good at lifting me and gently lowering me to the floor in a princely fashion to deal with these emergencies – if it was an Olympic sport I’m sure we would be champions.

By the time we attempted one fireman’s lift (painful for us both) we were so in character each of the five shots fired off turned out to be perfect.

I hope you enjoy this little peek behind the screens!

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Cinderella’s Plumassier

A little while ago I chanced upon a hoard of bejewelled fabric and spangled trim remnants that looked as though they had been snatched from Cinderella’s dressmaker (after she married the Prince). I wasn’t quite sure what to do with them, but at $5 for an enormous bag, they really were a steal.

The find coincided with racing season in Melbourne, and what with the abundance of feathered fascinators bobbing about town, I was struck by an inspiration.

Kate Moss by Corinne Day, 1990.Its source was years old: a feathered headdress I once glimpsed in the window of a now-vanished boutique. At the time it reminded me of an old photo by Corinne Day of Kate Moss, but priced over $200, such a frivolous accessory was out of the question.

But perhaps I could make one for myself? Now was the perfect time to purchase feathers – Cleg’s in the city stocked all sorts of hat decorating supplies for those who scorned the professional services of milliners. There was sure to be a super-abundance of feathers and other furbelows.

I sought the advice of a salesperson, who suggested I sew the feathers onto some sinamay – an exotic-sounding term for heavy mesh ribbon made from the abaca plant. The pink satin ribbon will be sewn on top to hide the shafts of the feathers (obscuring my dodgy sewing skills), and then the silver sequin trim over that. When finished, the headdress will be fastened with a bow at the nape, leaving the longer pink ribbons to trail down my hair.

If I finish in time (with my not-ugly sister Blossom’s assistance as she stands in for a plumassier) I may get into the festive spirit and wear it on Christmas Day, or failing that, on New Year’s Eve.

Now, I just need to get hold of some glass slippers…

A Family Tree of Fibres

I am on a fashion budget. What a sad state of affairs. Fortunately I am a brilliant op-shopper, a superb eBay spotter-and-clicker, and bargain-hunter extraordinaire, so you can’t tell. However, I still firmly believe in quality.

One of the main things I will look for in my bargains is fabric content. Natural fibres of course feel more luxurious, but more importantly they breathe. They keep you warm or cool according to the season, and you won’t sweat under them like you do with synthetics.

Natural fibres of course feel more luxurious, but more importantly they breathe.

By accident, I learned quite a few years ago that Rayon is a natural fibre. Well, actually, it is technically a semi-synthetic fabric, as it is manufactured from regenerated cellulose fibre; ie, wood pulp. That’s good enough for me!

It is very versatile, able to imitate the feel and texture of silk, wool, cotton and linen, and always feels lovely and cool in the hand when you do the Crush Test. In Europe it is known as Viscose; Rayon is its American name. It was invented donkey’s years ago – commercial production began in 1891 – which is why you’ll find many vintage clothes are made from rayon.

Moving right along about 100 years, (106 to be exact) we land on Lyocell (left). I have come across this fibre only recently, but I have discovered it has also been marketed under the trademarked name of Tencel. Who remembers Tencel jeans in the mid to late Eighties? They were all the rage for a while then Levis eclipsed them again. But, importantly, Lyocell is also made from wood pulp cellulose!

At least there is little byproduct from the manufacturing process, so it is relatively eco-friendly, unlike Rayon.

Then, as we move along the family tree (pardon the pun), we arrive at Modal, which is essentially a variety of Rayon, and is made from the wood pulp of beech trees – as opposed to your basic garden variety, I presume. It is often mixed with spandex fibres, and makes a smooth, soft fabric that is resistant to shrinkage and fading, like its cousin Lyocell.

I have discovered, to my sorrow, that moths adore chewing on Lyocell much more than Viscose; it must be higher on their list of delicacies. So keep those cedar balls handy!