One Glove For All

I’m starting a new trend. That’s right, you read it here first. I decree: One crocheted lace glove shall be worn at the breakfast table. That is all.

On Sunday my esteemed relatives and I were celebrating my birthday (and my sister Blossom’s too, but who cares about that because I’m Princess Tatiana), and early on in the proceedings, my mum came out gingerly holding one crocheted lace glove. It didn’t look like much, all shrivelled up, without a hand inside it. “Is this yours?” she asked.

My lip curled. “It is not.” A hazy yet precious memory of lilac-coloured cheesecloth drifted through my mind. “I believe it to be Star’s.” Nevertheless I tried it on. My sister Serena and I giggled, and she informed me that I looked like Michael Jackson.

I decree: One crocheted lace glove shall be worn at the breakfast table.

“I’ll leave it on and see how long it takes for anyone to notice,” I grinned wickedly.

Before long Blossom and her husband made their appearance. She sat upon the settee next to me and immediately inquired as to why I had on only one glove. I cannot be certain, but the One-Gloved-One’s name may have been mentioned at this time. Serena and I tittered musically.

Then Star, her husband, and her daughter arrived, and I was sure that numerous and ribald references to the Moonwalker would be made on the instant. But nothing was forthcoming. Quite half an hour later, Star finally ventured to say tentatively, “Why are you wearing one glove?”

“At last!” I exclaimed. My hand was getting hot. I peeled the glove off with relief. “I can’t believe it took you so long to notice!”

Star and her daughter replied that they had noticed immediately, but they had declined to remark, for fear of hurting my feelings. There were numerous mentions of Mr Jackson. Then Star told us that she had worn the gloves to a wedding, accessorising a purple cheesecloth dress. “It belongs to me,” she reached for the article.

“Nothing doing,” I denied, snatching up the glove and stuffing it into my purse. “It has lain unclaimed for more than twenty years. This is a Story, and photographic evidence is required.”

I’m serious about the new Fashion Decree though. No, really. 

Life’s A Breeze

Fashion story from Australian marie claire. This comes close to my favourite shot out of the whole editorial.Ah, suffering in this relentless heatwave Melbourne is treating us to, I am fantasising about being on the Riviera right now, living the life in this fashion editorial.

I love Friedemann Hauss’ photoshoots – they are always so elegant, the women so soigné. There is a serene and effortless air about them. There is no frantic rush. Life is a breeze.

I wish I could feel a breeze right now.

Oh, and I almost forgot to mention, I really love the minimal fashion too. Now sit back, scroll down and relax, ahhh. (Click on the images for bigger versions.)

Ice Cream Greens

The Vintage Hat Series: 1950s straw toque and saucer hatsThe conventions in colour naming are amusing. Arbiters of fashion and interior design so often push colour names that are aesthetically appealing – and understandably so – but they are very often entirely imprecise. Plants and foodstuffs and other objects in nature are obvious sources of inspiration. Sometimes they are simply odd (puce, oxblood), and other times entirely misleading: lemon being one such example. We have been trained to expect a pale, pastel yellow hue when in fact the fruit of the lemon tree is a vivid and strong sunny yellow.

The Vintage Hat Series: 1950s straw toqueMint and pistachio are two such suspiciously named colours. A random search of images online reveals they may be perceived to be almost exactly the same, except that mint ranges from a cool watery hue to a warm pastel green, while pistachio sticks to the warmer shades of green. The popular notion of pistachio is close to accurate when compared with the inner kernel of the nut, but almost every rendition of mint is wildly inaccurate. For what do mint leaves actually look like? A very bright, strong leaf green! Perhaps ‘mint icecream’ would be a more apt description. The very watery cool hue popularly perceived as mint I would describe as celadon, although it too ranges between warm and cool tones.

The first recorded use of pistachio as a colour name was as far back as 1789, while mint appeared only in 1920. Probably it described a pale green, as pastel shades were hugely popular in the Twenties, and this is possibly where the popular notion of mint as a pale shade comes from.

The Vintage Hat Series: 1950s straw saucer hatTwo summer hats I bought last year are – except for shape and trim – amusingly alike. They are both made from pistachio coloured straw (although some might call them mint). One, a toque, is trimmed with rows of cream lace and a birdcage veil, and the other, a saucer hat is trimmed with light olive velvet ribbon and squashed satin roses. I like the contrasting green tones of the latter. It’s best worn at a slightly roguish – or dare I say it, saucy angle. 

My Funny Valentine

Most of us would be familiar with the dulcet crooning of Frank Sinatra singing My Funny Valentine, but let's just take a moment on this important holiday to really look at these words:

My funny valentine
Sweet comic valentine
You make me smile with my heart
Your looks are laughable
Unphotographable
Yet you're my favourite work of art

Is your figure less than greek
Is your mouth a little weak
When you open it to speak
Are you smart?

Wow! He's not pulling any punches here. What is he actually saying? Honey, you're quite unattractive and not too bright, but luckily since I'm a such a swell guy, I love you anyway. Gee, thanks, you're a real sweetheart Frankie baby.

But there are worse ways of communicating on the venerated day of Saint Valentine: a friend of mine posted a story on 'Vinegar Valentines' on Facebook this morning. It is a fascinating story about the history of nasty Valentine’s Day cards and the exchange of sentiments between enemies – not in today’s liberated and modern times, but from the 1840s until about the 1940s. Read about it at Collector's Weekly.

Makes me think perhaps Frankie's not so bad after all … Happy Valentine's Day kids.

But don't change a hair for me
Not if you care for me
Stay little valentine stay
Each day is valentines day …

Neck Lace

It sounds incredibly girly for someone who professes herself to be so not a princess, but I really love lace, and pearls. Usually not together (but I couldn’t promise that one day I might not confound all expectations and wear them together after all).

This necklace, in altogether a different way, combines both pearls and lace: the artificial pearls have been tatted to create a lace-like pattern. Tatting is actually a technique for handcrafting a very durable type of lace, in which thread is looped and knotted in a pattern of rings and chains. It is often used as trim or edging on garments and household linen. This vintage 1950s pearl choker literally is neck lace!

There are lots of lovely versions to be found on Etsy – search ‘pearl collar necklace’ for the best versions, and you will also see an array of vintage Peter Pan style collar necklaces that are very much in vogue at the moment.