The Intrepid Umbrella Huntress

I am known, in some circles, as the Wrecker of Parasols, the Destroyer of Umbrellas, the Saboteur of Sunshades. Alas, it is all too true. It all comes about by an unfortunate concatenation of circumstance, which can usually be blamed on the wildness of Melbourne’s weather, or the freakish driving skills of our city’s illustrious public transport servants. (Once a tram driver braked so suddenly my newest parasol banged against the door of the tram, and the celluloid handle snapped right off. I am still not over that tragedy.)

I am also known as the Procuress of Vintage Parasols, the Intrepid Umbrella Huntress …

The flipside, however, is that I am also known as the Procuress of Vintage Parasols, the Intrepid Umbrella Huntress – for I am always having to hunt down a worthy replacement for the last carcass. I can’t possibly carry an ordinary black collapsible umbrella from a supermarket, for instance. (It always amuses me when I see upended umbrella skeletons – a common sight in Melbourne – poking out of rubbish bins where they have patently been thrust in rage by commuters, exhausted with wrestling with them.)

My newest umbrella is quite possibly the girliest umbrella known to man. It is a pagoda style (sigh); strawberry-pink-and-cream striped and trimmed with a frill, with 50s-style black and white illustrations of two pooches snuggling together. There are even darling little ribbons sewn onto one of the dogs’ collars. The handle is a bow, and there is a tasselled loop hanging off it for ease of carrying. So far it has been surprisingly resilient in the gale-force winds and rain we’ve been experiencing in the last fortnight.

SHOP ONLINE

The umbrella is by Black Rhinoceros and I found it in a cute little Melbourne boutique full of amusing Chinese imports, but you can buy it here. There is a collapsible version also available. Also search eBay for pagoda umbrellas (nothing came up for Black Rhinoceros); poodles here, and there is also a pussycat version – the last one in black and white. 

What I Actually Wore #0090

Serial #: 0090
Date: 01/09/2012
Weather: 15°
Time Allowed: 10 minutes

It’s the first day of spring. I am meeting a friend for an afternoon movie treat, and all the sunshine pouring through my windows has deceived me into under-dressing: I forego stockings, and regret it later commuting home in the evening.

I don’t often wear prints, but in honour of the day I wear a cherry blossom patterned blouse, bought in Sydney in a pop-up sale a few years ago by a now-defunct Australian designer label. I team it with a golden velvet dot skirt, and a vintage tam in a matching hue – pink for spring blossoms, and gold for the glorious sunshine.

The icing on the cake is a fun collection of sugar-sweet Betty Jackson jewellery: a carousel pendant; a Cupid-style diamanté-studded heart shot through with an arrow that has matching earrings; and a twinkling skull and crossbones ring.

Items:

Top: Bracewell
Skirt: Maeve for Anthropologie
Jewellery: Betty Jackson
Watch: Lencer
Hat: vintage 

How Many Red Shoes Are Enough?

Just how many pairs of red shoes do you think it reasonable for a girl to have? One? Two? How about 17?

Quite a while ago Wittner, an Australian shoe brand whose page I liked on Facebook posed a question about closet space for shoes under a photo that featured quite a few pairs in the colour red. One fan asked in turn, ‘Why would you need more than one pair of red shoes?’

Foolish woman, I thought immediately. She obviously has no soul. (Pardon the pun. Sadly I don’t have any red soles either – Christian Louboutins, I mean.) But red shoes I have aplenty. The ballet dancer, played by Moira Shearer in the 1948 film The Red Shoes only had one pair – that was plenty for her. She couldn’t take them off and danced herself to death. The film was based on Hans Christian Anderson’s fairytale of the same name – the girl in that story had to get her feet chopped off to escape her doom.

Red is the colour of passion, love, joy, celebration and ceremony …

There’s just something about them that thrills me with delight. Red shoes have been my most beloved accessory, ever since I can remember. Red is the colour of passion, love, joy, celebration and ceremony. The word, in Russian, is close to the word for ‘beautiful’. It is also the colour of warning, anger, and danger (as the aforementioned doomed heroines found out). My shoes have never led me astray, however.

Click image and jump through to Polyvore for shopping detailsMy current favourite pairs are the red glitter Mary-Janes, and the red suede T-bar peep-toes. Both are by Wittner, incidentally. Once upon a time though I owned a pair of red three-quarter patent boots that I loved passionately. They had suede tassels that dangled at the sides, like boots that should properly be worn by a drummer-girl, or circus performer. Tragically, they went the way of all well-loved shoes: they wore out. Fortunately before my feet did. 

Shoeaholics Anonymous

Hello. My name is Princess Tatiana, and I am a shoeaholic. I confess: I love shoes. I own far too many shoes. I own so many shoes I’ve forgotten what I own, and I couldn’t possibly wear them all in a season if I could remember them all. I even have shoes I’ve never worn. Ever. (Shame!) I’d like to say there’s always room for more, but … there isn’t. I would have to move house to fit more in my closet.

Here is a delicious little pink satin pair that I have never worn out of the house. Don’t those tassels just strike delight in your heart? They look like they’re made expressly for dancing the night away.

Lord Byron’s words perfectly encapsulate these fairytale dancing slippers:

On with the dance! let joy be unconfined;
No sleep till morn, when youth and pleasure meet
To chase the glowing hours with flying feet.

I bought them from the Wittner warehouse shop for about $30, so really, they are still are bargain, even if they’re as yet unworn. They’re waiting for exactly the right occasion, and their time in the sun will come one day. Or night.

Object Worship

Feast your eyes on this lovely collection of shoes photographed for a noughties edition of US Harper’s Bazaar, by Gilles Bensimon. So many divine pairs in this editorial! I love how those Prada shoes in the very first photo look like a flock of butterflies. I think the grey suede Balenciaga booties are my favourite, followed by the saucy laceback boots by Alexander McQueen. The hacked heel on the Gucci crocodile pumps is freaking me out though – how did the fashion editor get away with that?

Click on images for larger versions.